Saint Stuart
August 24, 2023

The Path of True Love – Part 1: Overcoming Lust

When I rid my life of sexual immorality in my past, I felt a very noticeable change in my level of happiness. I began to follow the teachings of the Bible and traditions of Christianity rigorously, stopping all sexual thoughts, self-stimulation and any intention for sexual activity outside of marriage. Convincing myself that people’s sexual nature is God’s and designed for the procreation of humanity in a way that brings two people together in love and loyalty, commitment, devotion and fidelity to create a person and raise that person together, exhibiting through their relationship the good examples of success and cooperation that their child will learn good behaviour from.

When I stopped giving in to lustful desires, my attitude on life changed drastically. I began to think more maturely about what to offer a potential partner, improving areas of my life like health, career and relationships, knowing that the development and growth in those areas are vital to the level of wholesome happiness one can experience, especially a potential partner.

My imagination seemed sparked as well, with what I can only describe as enchanted feelings. I felt as if I was discovering God’s ways of natural bliss and ecstacy, learning how to provide for a woman in the way He wants for her, and learning to love in complete honesty of every thought and feeling, prepared to share them with the person I would fall in love with.

When I was in habits of viewing pornography and sexually stimulating myself, I was giving into experiences of very pleasurable feelings without having properly attained the development of my life situation that would lead to the experience of those feelings with someone who wanted to share in them with me. When I stopped those habits of self pleasure, I had the realisation that that sort of stimulation was best done by someone else, my life partner, and that is how God intended it to be. Through those bad habits I was conditioning myself to feel satisfied by my own desires, when the better experience is to find the right person to satisfy in that way who is also interested in satisfying me. It is not so simple to find that sometimes, but the practice of putting off my own habits of indulgence to instead work toward the attainment of the proper experience compelled me to think more about being attractive to a potential partner amd bettering myself in more mature ways.

When I was younger I thought mostly just about finding someone I got along with and was attracted to. It was a simple and very appropriate view, but I wasn’t focusing as much on other vital areas that women look at. I was waiting around for the person I would fall in love with, in the mean time conditioning myself to experience pleasure through pornographic scenes that I had no part in, and left myself with no desire to go out and find someone to fulfill my needs for intimacy. 

When I stopped my pornographic consumption habits I started to consider more about what a woman looks for in a partner, not just in looks and personality, but in my ability to provide for and raise a healthy, happy family. Was my career path in the right direction? Were my relationships with friends and family strong and growing in the right ways? Was I living healthy? Was I able to teach children about morality and success in life? I got serious about what my sexual nature was actually for and thanked God for that perspective, feeling inspired each day to better myself and grow in many successes of my life.

I learned more about sexual morality and that our sexual nature is ultimately God’s. Through a growth of love, commitment and fidelity, two people come together to raise a child that is a creation of those two people, and the best upbringing for that child is to see the successful display of love that his or her parents give to each other and others. That display is what will teach the child about its own success in future relationships with family, friends and their future life partner if they have one. The problem of divorce can easily take away that learning opportunity for children, but if the child’s parents find another partner, they can continue to exhibit the example of healthy behaviour. 

Sexual immorality became defined to me as what was a diversion from the path of what I was discovering to be sexual morality. What is the purpose of sex as God designed it? To create people and have two parents raise each person that is a creation of themselves. Fornication, adultery, and other sexual sins are a disrespect of that process, and can even result in mental and physical illnesses. 

When I committed to withhold my sexual activity with a potential partner before marriage, I started to discover other ways to share my affection and even physical pleasure and comfort in intimate ways. My sexual feelings and nature were not completely suppressed as some might assume them to be. They were very much present and obvious, but they were developed differently and in a way tamed more slowly and sensitively. Simple gestures like holding hands, looking into eyes and long, heartfelt conversations, were sources of very potent ecstacy, and the preparation for sexual activity became a very sacred and respected thing, making very intuitively clear the purposes of the declarations of traditional marriage ceremonies.

During the process, a respect to God was paramount. With a partner, honesty, communication, scripture reading and prayer together were daily devotions to be passed on to any future children, encouraging and establishing a higher tendency for them to continue such practices when their time to leave the home came, helping them learn God’s ways for their lives.